gratitude

Actions Speak Louder Than Words: How people showing up unprompted makes a difference that words cannot convey

girlymicro General, Healthcare Science, Leadership , , , , , , , ,

It has been an amazing week (despite this post being late as I was unexpectedly struck down unwell). Last week, I was fortunate enough to attend the Academy for Healthcare Science Honorary Fellowships and Chair Celebration, which was a joyous way to celebrate the contribution that Healthcare Scientists make to the Academy, but also to acknowledge the impact that Healthcare Scientists make across the healthcare landscape. This week has been Healthcare Science week, and it’s been a delight to see the posts shared, and hear about the great work and impact of Healthcare Scientists.

It’s been especially poignant for me personally, as the AHCS had also been liaising with me to support my book, It Shouldn’t Happen to a PhD Student. They were generous enough to allow me to share copies of the the book as part of the goodie bag for their Fellowship event, as well including an article about why I felt it necessary to write the book within the Spring 2026 edition of the HCS Leadership Journal.

All of which got me thinking…it got me thinking about how it feels to have people step up to support you. It got me thinking about privilege and the importance of knowing where you have it, and where you may lack it. Finally, it got me thinking about the importance of using that privilege recognition to actively engage with others, and decide how to utilise it both for impact and the benefit of others.

Awareness of privilege

We all have privilege, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. If you are reading this blog you have some form of privilege, even if that is just that you aren’t in digital poverty. I have privilege. I am white, middle class, European, and in a heterosexual marriage. I also lack privilege in some ways, being a woman who came from a state education background, and work in a professional structure that is dominated by my medical colleagues. Organisations are the same, they will have spheres of influence, and areas where they are trying to expand that influence.

It is obviously helpful to know where you have influence, and where you may lack it. This is essential to allow informed decision making about where to devote your energies, but more than that, it is important to know where you can expend energy for the benefit of others. There is more danger than we sometimes acknowledge in not understanding, and spending time reflecting on, our privilege. Not doing this can result in making assumptions that can harm ourselves and others.

Awareness of the priviledge gap

What does that privilege awareness look like? I am never going to be able to run an invite only event for 200 people. I have a fair level of of influence, due to you lovely people reading this blog and interacting with me on social media, but I am only one person. I will never have the influence, impact or resources of an organisation or group. Therefore, the privilege I am able to harness for the benefit of others will also be limited. This is why I want to discuss the importance of gestures, such as those made by the AHCS. I am able to reach a certain percentage of Healthcare Scientists that I’m personally connected with across platforms. The Academy in contrast has thousands of members across their registers. They have thousands of followers across social media platforms, and they also have reputation impact, as they are have intrinsic legitimacy due to their role providing professional accreditation.

The AHCS supporting me, by allowing me to share my book and by including an article in their journal, substantially increases my reach, and the chance of something I hope to have impact, getting into the hands of someone who may find it useful. It also lends their validation to that reach as, I hope, they wouldn’t support sharing details of the book if they thought it was rubbish. It gets my book into the hands of people who may never have picked it up otherwise, from students to senior leaders. I’m so grateful to them for using their privilege to support something that means so much to me, and that I hope will support the profession I love. Gestures can be big or small, but the impact of them should never be underestimated.

Support without asking

Now, I’ve talked about the fact that I do have privilege. That said, I don’t have the kind of privilege I’ve seen in some of my academic or medical colleagues. The kind of privilege where doors are just opened, or barriers are just removed. I don’t have a problem with this, I feel like I have proven myself every step of the way. Every promotion I’ve had has been a competitive process. Every committee I’ve sat on I’ve either had to apply for or prove my credentials as part of joining. The support for my book is the first time ever that someone has come to me and asked how they can help. Not just the Academy, but places like Applied Microbiology International. The Academy really followed through, and did not just ask the question, but helped me work out ‘the how’. They don’t know this, but when I got off the call, and recovered from the shock of their kindness, I actually had a little happy cry. There is nothing like people stepping up and showing their faith in your by offering the kind of support you would never have asked for. It is a rare event, and it’s made me determined to do what I can for others in order to make it a little less rare.

Support without conditions

Often when people have offered support for me in the past there has been a certain level of quid pro quo. A level of you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you’ll know that my leadership style is much more around authentic leadership than transactional leadership. There is nothing wrong per se, with transactional leadership, there is definitely a place and time, but it doesn’t feel the same as someone offering their support with no ties or limitations. There is something special about someone offering unconditional support, support that you don’t feel like you have to pay back or pay off. Now having said that, I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to live up to the generosity being offered you, just that it’s different when that’s a decision you make rather than one that is a condition of the support to begin with.

Support without comeback

The other interesting form of support is that type that comes freely at early stages of your career, but has ramifications later on. I think many of us have probably experienced this one, where you have had mentors or supporters who offered great support, until the point at which you reach a similar level of career progression. At this point the support becomes more transactional, or worse, relationships become less constructive and more distant. Opportunities taken can be greeted with commentary, or judgement. This can be a very confusing scenario if you haven’t encountered it before, or seen it happen to others.

People who offer support irrespective of career stage, or perceived risk to position, are worth their weight in gold. Those individuals and organisations who support others, not for benefit to themselves, nor affected by positionality, are both investing in relationships for the long term and build trust based on consistency. This is one of the best ways to maximise impact over time, both for the person supporting, but also for those offering aid.

Acceptance without doubt

This isn’t just about those offering the support however, no matter how wonderful. It is also about how we receive the support and opportunities that we are offered. It can be easy to question whether to accept unconditional support by wondering what’s the catch? If you have been submerged in a culture where you are surrounded by transactional relationships, or where cultures have become challenging due to resource scarcity, it is both understandable and predictable to question support when offered. It is essential however that we get out of our own way. This can be a challenge if you are in a position where you lack privilege. When working with, and offering support to others who have dealt with a lack of privilege long term, building trust may be a required step prior to acceptance of any support offered.

We can all have a tendency to say ‘why me’ for both good and ill. This can obviously be context dependent, as well as depending on whether we are in a place of pessimism or optimism when the offer is made. It is important to have the self awareness to know when we are drifting to skepticism when we should be embracing opportunity. When we are driven by factors from our past instead of embracing our future.

Acceptance with gratitude

Instead of questioning when we are offered support, it is important to move to a space where we accept with gratitude rather than anxiety. I think it’s key to talk about what I mean by gratitude, I’m talking about gratitude without submission. I have a tendency to over correct on this one. I tend to be so grateful for the support that I can come across as sycophantic, without meaning to. I think the best way you can be grateful however, is to make sure you learn the lessons from being offered the support and ensure that you incorporate it into your practice by role modelling that behaviour yourself. As you are being supported without conditions, you should be thankful and stop looking for some unwritten cost that doesn’t exist. Embrace the opportunity and then make sure you do the same for others.

Delivering on the commitment

The biggest demonstration of gratitude you can give, I believe, is by delivering on the faith that others have placed in you. If someone goes out of their way to show you support, then deliver. Deliver on whatever that may be. It could be by putting in the work to achieve a goal. It could be by working to ensure that the advantage they’ve given you isn’t wasted and allows a next step to be taken. It could just be by embedding the same values in your leadership to benefit others. Actions speak louder than words, and so if given an opportunity act to maximise the outcome.

Paying it forward

I’ve mentioned the importance of making sure that you increase the legacy of any kindness you are shown by role modelling that moving forward, but it’s so important that I wanted to state it again. Not all gestures require large resource or commitment. It can be as simple as stating someone’s name in a room that they are not in, or passing on an opportunity that you may believe would be of benefit. Knowing where our privilege and influence lie, not taking it for granted, and utilising it for the benefit of others in whatever way we can, is such an important part of how we move forward as a profession and lift people up as individuals. Especially at the moment, when resources are limited and times are hard, it can be easy to forget what is in our gift to do, and I think now more than ever it’s crucial to realise that we all still have the capacity to positively impact on others.

A final thank you

So, I wanted to end by saying thank you again to the Academy of Healthcare Science. Not only have they really impacted me by showing such by in with a book that means a lot to me, but they were also kind enough to present me with an extra surprise, the Chair’s Award for Excellence. It’s made a real impact on me, and now all I can hope to do is pay it forward and show the same faith and impact in others.

All opinions in this blog are my own

Celebrating The People That Make It Worthwhile: Taking a moment to appreciate the positive people in our lives

girlymicro General , , , , , , , ,

Being present on social media or even listening to the news right now can be hard and take me into a pretty dark head space. It’s easy to write negative posts as a result of this head space and to give energy to the people or situations that make life challenging, or who make us feel badly about ourselves. Those people get to spend enough free time in my mind, however, without me giving them more air time or more of my energy than they already have. So, in the spirit of active rebellion, let’s turn the world around and talk about the people who do deserve the energy and recognition. The ones who give liberally, support unconditionally, and act as the cheer leaders that we all need in our daily lives to just get through the week. Let’s focus on the good rather than being drawn into the dark.

Thank you to the people who catch us when we spiral

We all know that I have a strong tendency to spiral, especially linked to event triggered anxiety. I’ve written about it before. I wanted to take a moment to thank those people out there who recognise and actually help flag to me when I’m spiralling, as sometimes it can take me some time to even notice the deterioration in my thinking. Just recognising that you have fallen into that head space can be challenging, but recognition is the first step in managing and exiting the spiral.

The second reason having ‘spiral friends’ is super helpful is that I have a very very small list of friends who I can call (and they can call me) and say ‘I’m in a spiral’. We then support each other by talking through the source of the anxiety, the validity of the anxiety, and if there are any actions that are valid/required. People who take time out to talk through and validate responses when needed and dispel irrational thinking as required, give the greatest gift in terms of time and support.

To the people who listen to the repetitive statements until we’ve worked through our process

I not only have a tendency to spiral, but to sometimes get stuck in my thinking. When I’m fixated on something, I can be one of the most annoying people in the world to be around. Becoming hyper focussed is one of my greatest gifts, as it means that I can just sit down and write 5000 words or focus for hours at a time. It’s also one of my greatest curses, as when that fixation falls onto something that I have no control over or is more of an emotional block, it can be really challenging to stop that focus becoming an unhelpful fixation.

When I fixate on something I just can’t let it go. I have to process my way through it. Sadly for those around me that processing tends to take the form of a very repetitive conversation cycle, whilst I try to talk my way through the weeds I have gotten caught up by. This means, for Mr and mummy Girlymicro, and my besties, they get stuck also having to have these conversations with me. On repeat. I do eventually get to the point where I come out the other end, but I know it would be easier for everyone around me if I could just put it in a box and move on without the thorough exploration this process requires. So thank you for your patience and generosity with your time, I know you all have other things to do and I owe you a lot of champagne in return.

To those who love us, not grudgingly, but because they truly accept our imperfections

Having just read the last two paragraphs it should come as no shock at all that I am far from perfect. I annoy myself sometimes, let alone anyone else. The thing is, I have some people in my world that truly love me. They don’t love me despite my flaws. They love me because of them. They love all I am, despite how challenging that person can be. Knowing that is the most empowering thing I can wish for someone. It makes me feel safe enough to express and face my fears. It empowers me to share my failures, challenges and learning, through things like this blog. It is my greatest hope for all of you that you also find your people who make you feel this way, whether they are your family by blood or by choice. These people enable us to be the best versions of ourselves, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

Shout out to those who truly embrace difference as a positive

Humanity is tribal. Most primates are. That means that we can have a tendency to like people who act like us and hold similar values. The thing is, our diversity and difference is what makes us stronger, and should be something that is embraced rather than suffered. As someone who holds a rather weird and wonderful mind, that may not process and see the world in the same way as others, I sometimes really feel how I am seen at ‘other’. I often just don’t fit in and, even more than that, I frequently want to walk a path that is not valued or trodden by others. There are people out there, who rather than being baffled or thrown by this approach, fully embrace it and what this difference offers. Instead of trying to make me fit into a box that doesn’t feel comfortable, they support and encourage the risk taking that is required to walk my own path. They do not find my difference a challenge or a threat, but an inspiration and a positive trait. They see value in me as me, and that is not so common. These people are the ones that have the ability to change the world by expanding acceptance and re-defining normal. We need to find them, honour them and celebrate their vision.

Thank you to those who remind of our strengths rather than focusing on our flaws

Part of learning and growing as an individual is having the self reflection to understand our flaws as well as our strengths. It’s easy to lose perspective, as our area of change is often linked to the things we want to fix, to the extent that out flaws loom large and we forget about the strength side of the equation. Many of us are perfectionists who struggle to come to terms with the fact that we are, and always will be, a work in progress. It is also easy, therefore, to lose sight of how far we’ve come and to just see how far we have yet to go. So, this one is a shout out to the people who help us re-focus, and bring back into perspective all that is positive about ourselves. The ones who help us bench mark that, actually, we’re doing OK.

To those people who will hold us while we cry it out

I wear my heart on my sleeve, I always have. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve felt judged for this and when I’ve received comments such as ‘you’re too emotional to be a leader’ or other judgements that indicate you cannot be emotionally expressive and be good at your job. Comments that indicate empathy or emotional intelligence may actually be a risk rather than something to be developed. For a long time this meant that I tried not to fully engage or bring that part of myself to my working life, to try to be more remote and not express how I was feeling. Now, I’m not saying we should scream and shout, but I do think that I am a rounded individual who is not a robot, and neither are the people I work with. Therefore, to be my authentic self I need to acknowledge that I come with feelings, beliefs and biases, which need to be noted and managed, but also make me a better human being if handled appropriately.

Outside of work especially, I’m such a crier. I weep at movies, I cry with both sadness and joy, and don’t get me started on my behaviour at weddings. I am so grateful to have friends and family who allow me to safely experience all the peaks and troughs of these emotions, and know that a box of tissues or three may be required if we are going to Les Misérables.

I am beyond grateful to those who give us courage to be the true versions of ourselves

Speaking of my emotional side brings me onto authenticity. When I started my job I wouldn’t talk about being a gamer. I wouldn’t talk about movies, or other things that interested me, as people would comment ‘geek’ and roll their eyes. Over the years since I’ve realised how important it is to fully show up, and to bring my whole self to spaces, especially when in a leadership role. If I don’t lead the way, how can I expect others to. It’s not always easy however. Sometimes the comments cut deeper when they are made at our authentic selves rather than at a protective shell. It can be easier for others to try and bring us down when we offer so much of ourselves as a target. There are definitely times when I just want to retreat into my shell and take the easy road.

Even when writing these blog posts, there are times when it would be easier to hide from some of the challenges, especially when there are comments made linked to my choices. I stand by those choices however, I stand by sharing the highs and the lows, and by showing my flaws as well as my strengths. It takes courage some days. Some days more than I have available. So I want to say how grateful I am to those of you who lend me courage on days when I lack it. I look back on the many of the positive comments on this blog when I start to doubt myself, and use them to give me clarity and strength to move forward when it might be easier not to.

No matter how hard it gets, if you can find these people in your life it’s worth fighting for

It took me a long time to feel (mostly) comfortable in my own skin, and so much of that progress has been due to me finding the people in my life who told me that it was OK to be me. I’m fortunate to have a great family by blood, but I also have key members who are my family by choice. No matter where you find them, treasure them. In these difficult times, when the world can feel like you could be swallowed by quick sand any second, use them to anchor you. Use them to reflect. Ask, will this matter in 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months or 6 years? Use them to help gain the perspective you need to pull yourself up and get out there to fight the good fight and stand up for what’s right. Just don’t forget to also thank them for the amazing role they have in your world and pay it forward so you can be that same person for others. The world is always darkest before the dawn, so lets get through this time together.

All opinions in this blog are my own

A Thank You to All the Cheerleaders: At the end of a tough 2024 my gratitude for all the support

girlymicro General , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2024 was always going to be tough. Wonderful colleagues were facing challenges on all fronts. Close family members were going through significant change. Things that were going to impact not just my ability to balance life and work but also how that life was lived were very obviously coming down the line. I don’t know about you, but as a planner, I sometimes find the anticipation of the bad ‘stuff’ almost worse than its arrival, and 2024 kicked off with plenty of anticipation.

Now the end of 2024 is so close I can almost taste it, and much of the ‘stuff’ has both come and gone, I find myself still standing and grateful for all of you that have supported in enabling this to be the reality.

As a result of this year, I have spent a lot of time thinking about what keeps me going, what I need, and what I’m grateful for. None of the answers to these questions were linked to productivity or achievement. The answers, as it turned out, were all linked to people and relationships. These people, connections, and relationships were the answer to all my questions and remain the foundation of my everything. So, for my last post in 2024, I wanted to put something in writing that says thank you and talks about all the reasons why you are my team and my cheerleaders. You guys are the best!

I don’t need to see you to know that you are there

When times are hard, or adversity strikes, it is easy to end up feeling isolated and alone. It can be tempting to disconnect and enter protective mode, where you share less of who you are in order to limit your exposure. One of the things this year has shown me is how fortunate I am to never really feel that way. I know that whatever the world throws at me I am not alone. I am so lucky to have Mr and Mummy Girlymicro in my life, but it’s not just them. I posted this time last year about the amazing close friendships I have with some of my girls. These people, who I may not have even managed to see in person this year, are still there supporting me, even if I haven’t had a lot of time to connect. I still know that they are there and are backing me. I know if I reached out and I needed them, they would be there in a heartbeat. I’m aware of the privilege of this, and I am thankful for it every day.

We don’t need to always agree

One of the greatest signs of trust in any relationship is feeling safe enough to disagree, whether it be in work, romantic, family or friend based relationships. In travelling uncharted territory, there is no rule book and often no guide for how to make decisions or choices. This uncertainty can therefore inevitably lead to differences of opinion about what is the right approach in any given moment. Being able to disagree and yet still feel supported whilst working through the disagreement, in an attempt to reach consensus or just accept difference, is a real blessing. Even more so if it can happen without triggering preexisting insecurities or feeling exposed to judgement. I am trying to make conscious decisions to value moments where I learn more about myself and others by going through these disagreements, whilst also knowing how fortunate I am to have people in my life who are a safe space for these moments to occur with.

You forgive me for making mistakes

The process of learning and growing is not an easy one, and sometimes we have to face difficulty truths about ourselves and our flaws. I am flawed. I make mistakes, like ALL the time. I’d like to think that I grow each time and try not to make the same mistake twice, but even that is not 100%. One of the benefits of learning from disagreements is that it helps to garner enough understanding from any negative outcome that results to help make better choices in the future. I am grateful to my wonderful colleagues, friends, family and readers of this blog, for not only forgiving me for making those mistakes but also supporting me in sharing my journey in learning from them, not only face to face but also in this blog. My hope is always, that by being open, I support others in making more informed choices as we are all learning together.

You lift me when I am low

This year has had some significant lows. It has has included the deaths of some significant figures in my life, such as Professor Nigel Klein, who had been a key part of my working life for almost 20 years. He was the person who supported me in my first steps in academia, who supported and supervised me during my PhD, and has continued to be a key figure in my clinical academic career ever since. Significant health challenges have been present for colleagues and family and this has hit me hard at times, even if I am not the person unwell. I’ve been feeling pretty mortal, and also powerless to help in any meaningful way. So many of you have been so kind and lifted my spirits, from sending memes or commenting on the blog, to unexpected treats from friends and family that have made me feel seen and loved. Having a safety net of people who are prepared to pick up the slack when I’ve struggled or to remind me that everything will be OK has been an invaluable asset in 2024.

You drive me to be the best version of myself

When the world is overwhelming, when everything feels too much, it can be so tempting to want to throw in the towel and just ride the wave. Having to try (and sometimes fail) to get this blog out every week and to continue to show up has been crucial to just keeping me going whatever my mood. There have been weeks when this blog hasn’t happened. There have been days when I haven’t delivered in the way that I would wish. I have certainly been too tired to step up and see people or do things on the weekends or in my free time. Knowing that there is an expectation of levels of engagement, be it from my PhD students, colleagues, readers of this blog, or family, has kept me going and kept me present. You support me in trying to be the best version of myself and to keep showing up in the best way I can in the moment. You support me in not just accepting but seeking out things that challenge me and keep me on my learning pathway. Hopefully, I then get to feed that back via this blog, and therefore the loop continues.

I know you would always straighten my crown without telling me it was crooked

We’ve all been there, we’ve sent an email or written a slide, and it’s not quite right. There are people who reply to you and give you a heads up so you can issue a no drama correction, and there are people who reply all or stand up at the end of the talk to point out your error. I count myself so fortunate to have so many people who sit in the former rather than the latter bracket in my life. This is a pretty basic example, but I’m hoping you see what I’m trying to say. I have so many people in my corner who will steer me back on course when I’m beginning to drift, or who will gently escort me from a conversation that I’m not in the right head space to have. People who know when I need saving from myself, from reminding me that having that dairy filled cake is not wise, to pointing out that I can’t physically manage to book myself into speaking at three conferences in different cities in a week. I know my well-being is at the centre of their actions, and having that safety net is of incalculable value to me.

We are in this journey together

When I made my first blog post in 2015 I didn’t even know what this blog was going to be. When I started posting regularly in 2020, I knew my why but I didn’t really know my how. Now, looking back on the last 200+ posts I feel like I’m more comfortable with some of the how. My next challenge is the where. I feel very much like I want to continue to grow and that this blog is a medium through which I can do that. I’ve learnt so much from the journey so far, but I am certain there is so much further I want to go. This year the blog broke 20,000 reads for the first time, and that makes me feel like we are in this journey together, wherever it might lead. I love seeing the interactions when I post. I love hearing your thoughts and feedback. I love feeling like this is something we are doing together and that I learn from you as much as you, hopefully, learn from my experiences. I don’t know where this road ends, but I know that I am determined to keep following it.

You understand that performance is not consistent

This post has been really hard to write for some reason. It’s taken me hours of staring at the screen, and I don’t know how well it will be received. Some posts spring to life, almost fully formed, and take no time at all to write. Some just make themselves harder work. I am pretty sure, therefore, that not all of them knock it out of the park. There are certainly ones that speak to some people more than others. Having spent some time thinking about it, I’ve decided that this is OK. As long as my intention is to communicate something, and I never post for the sake of posting, then how it lands is out of my control. The main thing is that I always try to do my best.

The same is true with posting frequency. I will always try to post weekly, but this year has shown me that sometimes I just can’t manage that. I used to obsess and spiral about it, and now I’ve decided that if I am not in the head space to write something worthwhile, I am better waiting until that resolves. I’ve been so grateful with the patience shown to me on this front in 2024 and that you have stuck with both me and this blog through all the random trains of thought and erratic posting frequencies.

You don’t judge me when I bear my soul

I try to always be honest in this blog. I try to share both the good and the bad, in a balanced but honest way. The concept of authentic leadership is important to me, and to fulfill it I think I need to show all sides of myself. I can only do this because I feel that I have built up a trust and feeling of safety in writing this blog over the years.

I remember when I first started to post things that were more personal, I used to brace myself for the comeback. I almost expected my confessions of inadequacy or failures to be weaponised against me. In all the 200+ posts that have been written, I’ve only had a single comment that could be considered to be less than supportive of my sharing, and even this was written (I believe) from a place that the author thought it would be helpful. As a result of this building of trust, I write from a space where I am comfortable sharing my lived experience without revision or overlay. I genuinely believe that this means that the sharing has much more value because of it. So, thank you for supporting me in getting to this place of confidence and comfort and always encouraging me to bring my full self to our interactions.

I hear you when you tell me this is valued

In my darker moments this year, when I was questioning a lot of the things that required focus or time, I reflected on whether writing this blog was something that was valued by anyone but me. Whether it was a good use of several hours of my time every week, when I didn’t have time for a bubble bath or other self care. Then every time I went to a conference I would have lovely conversations with people about the blog, and all of them were so positive, and inspired me so much.

Over the last year, I’ve even had people spontaneously mention it in meetings or 1:1 interactions. It’s hard to communicate how much this means. When I sit on my sofa and need to choose between pulling out the laptop to write or watching some trashy TV to unwind, it is these interactions that keep me reaching for my laptop. When I’m on the tube and I need to choose between closing my eyes and escaping into an audio book or doing some blog writing on my phone. It is the memory of these moments that keep me plugging away. Knowing that others value reading this blog, hearing stories in response to putting my experiences out there, make every minute spent worthwhile. So thank you, thank you for giving this blog meaning, thank you for showing the time invested has value, and thank you for taking time out of your lives to join me in this endeavour that means so much to me.

All opinions in this blog are my own

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Why I love the festive season and all that comes with it

girlymicro General, Leadership , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

For regular readers of this blog, the fact that I adore Christmas probably comes as no surprise. It contains everything I love, time with people I care about, movies, heaps of romance, and an excuse to indulge in lots of lovely food and drink. I’m not religious. I embrace the shamelessly commercial, and I dive right in. I make Christmas puddings the week after Halloween. My Christmas tree gets delivered on the last weekend in November, and from that point on I’m full blown carols and Christmas cheer for as long as I can get away with. So, in this, my last post before Christmas, I wanted to share all of the reasons why I love it and explain, even as someone who won’t be at church on Christmas Eve, all of the benefits I think the season can provide!

Time for reflection

Number one on my list (that’s definitely not hierarchical) is the fact that this time of year encourages me to spend some time on active reflection. I spend so much of my working life in responsive mode and fire fighting, that it can feel like I achieve nothing and go no where. When looking at what I need to close off before the end of 2024, I am also trying to take some time to actively reflect. What did I actually achieve? What went well? What have I learnt, especially from the things that didn’t go so well? What do I want to take with me in terms of life lessons and priorities into 2025? Almost more important, what do I need to let go off? What baggage am I leaving in 2024 in order to leave me with room for grow moving forward? This is the time when I review what’s happened, take both the learning and the good, and leave the rest in the frozen tundra so it doesn’t start to define me or weigh me down.

Time to review progress

As the nights draw in, I, like most of us, desperately try to close off some of my outstanding work list. I am, therefore, almost forced to give some of my focus into what that list will look like going into the next year. The thing that I’ve tried to do is to review whether things that are going to roll into 2025 are a) still needed or b) still serve me in my direction of travel. There are always going to be jobs that are still needed and not optional (so many apologies for not getting these done in 2024), but there are other goals, such as writing an environmental IPC textbook, were worthy of review to see if they were still something I wanted. If you are wondering the answer is yes to both the textbook and the book of this blog, both of which fell by the wayside due to limitations in capacity in 2024. I refer to this period of activity as my Christmas mental cleansing, and I find it both a helpful and comforting process that can be undertaken under a blanket with a warm cup of tea. This is also the time where I make an active choice to celebrate my successes and forgive myself for everything else.

Time for joy

Another of my favourite things at this time of year is to give myself permission to make time for joy. It’s probably no surprise to anyone that my life is pretty work heavy and there isn’t a lot of space for downtime. At this time of year I have a list of things that bring me joy that I actively schedule in and am determined to find time for. Christmas movies make up a lot of this. Watching a Muppet Christmas Carol, either on Christmas Eve or when decorating the tree. Sobbing to Love Actually and Serendipity as I take a moment to remember happy times with my sister. Indulging in the delights of spending time with my husband whilst watching Die Hard, which is a Christmas movie, on Christmas Eve. Carols whilst cooking and sitting together to highlight the Christmas Radio Times. There is never enough time to do all that I would wish, but these stolen moments make my soul feel lighter and instil every day with an extra level of joy that means I value every single single hour in the run up to the main event.

Time to indulge

OK OK, I acknowledge we all need to be healthier. I’m aware that I do not ‘need’ another cocktail, piece of chocolate, or an extra roast potato, but I am a lover of all things food and sparkling, so what’s a girl to do. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t just indulge in edibles, I also indulge in Christmas experiences, like theatre shows and more shopping than is probably good for my bank balance. I usually don’t like crowds or areas with lots of people, Christmas is the exception. I love the buzz, the feel of the atmosphere and lights whilst carols play in the background. For me, even the provision of time to shop that isn’t time restricted and just has plenty of browsing time without any time pressure built in is an indulgence. It’s a time where I allow myself to prioritise enjoyment and experiences, not just tasks. For me it’s about, for a short while, experiencing the joy of living in the moment and what it feels like to live a life without a deadline.

Time for family

It shouldn’t count as an indulgence, but sadly sometimes I am aware that I can be so focused on work and task that I forget to make room for the most important thing in my world, my family. I’m aware that I am really fortunate to have such a great relationship with my family, but I also include here the family we have by choice, not just by blood. In general my family put up with a lot; lateness, lack of focus, even the odd missed event. At this time of the year, despite the fact that it should be all year, I really do try to ensure that my priorities are in order and that they come first. It’s one of the reasons that the indulgence part is important to me, as it also involves making room and time for those indulgences and experiences to be shared. To build new memories together and to celebrate both each other and each others company. I’ve lost too many people I love in recent years to not realise what a precious gift this is and would encourage us all to take the time to slow down and smell the poinsettia.

Time to remember

My sister and I felt the same way about Christmas. It was always important to us, as well as to mummy and Mr Girlymicro. So much so that when life at Christmas meant that we had too much on and couldn’t celebrate ‘Goosemas’ together we have been known to celebrate Christmas in September, or actually at many other times of year, when we could still get together and cook a goose in each others company. You see, fundamentally, it isn’t about the date for us, it’s about the company and the time spent together. Now she’s gone we keep my sisters memory alive by watching the movies we always used to watch together, like Serendipity. This one was so much a feature of our Christmas celebrations that when Mr Girlymicro and I got married, our wedding present from my sister was to spend 3 nights at the Waldorf Astoria in New York, purely so we could re-create the lift scene from the start of the film, and visit Serendipity 3. Unlike the couple in the movie, Mr Girlymicro and I both picked the same floor (our wedding date) and manage to move direct to our happy ever after. I cry buckets every time I watch these films, but making space to remember the loved ones we’ve lost along the way, and to remember the joy they brought, is an important part of my Christmas experience.

Time to take a break

One of the reasons that any of this is possible is because this is the time of year where I always prioritise taking a break. It feels easier to do as many people are doing the same, so the addition to the email mountain is never quite as much as when you are the only one fleeing with an out of office on. It is also important for me as I know that I am going to find the months from January to March really hard. I work in a windowless converted toilet cubicle as my office, I love it, but it means that in the darker months I barely see sunlight, and after a while it gets to influence my mood. Having this little bump of joy is the foundation I use to get me through till when the flowers start to bloom and my heart starts to lift again. It’s like I’m creating a festive battery to serve until that time.

Time to reconnect

The very act of having a period of days off, when other people are often more available, means that there is an opportunity to really reconnect with people. I have very patient friends and family. I am lucky to have people in my life who I may not see for months, or even years, and yet once we hear from each other it’s like no time has passed. These people are both precious and rare in life, and so I try to ensure that this is the time that I at least reach out, even if I can’t meet up as time is short and we are geographically far away. Time is the resource that I have least of, so using it at Christmas is actually the most valuable gift I can give.

Time to feel re-inspired

A side consequence of taking a break and doing some processing is that I genuinely always come out of this time so re-invigorated and inspired. I feel like I have permission to have conversations with others about what I still want to achieve, and these very conversations give my brain all kinds of ideas. It’s so nice to have time to bounce ideas around, and feel like you are truly having time to have dialogue, rather than the sometimes perfunctory task based thinking that is all there is normally time for. The excitement that comes from these conversations really does fuel me and these things can’t happen without space and connection, and so inspiration really is a gift I give myself at this time of year.

Time to show gratitude

It’s so easy to take people for granted. I do it all the time, even though I really don’t want to. Life is run at pace, and in that rush it is easy to believe we acknowledge and thank others more than we really do, and more than they may have time to hear. My life functions because of Mr Girlymicro. He makes untold sacrifices so that I have time to sit here on the sofa writing, rather than partaking in my share of chores. Mummy Girlymicro does not get the devoted daughter she deserves, as I’m always focusing on too many things at once. This is before you bring me onto colleagues, that cover so I can undertake teaching and research, or my other friends and family, who put up with cancellations either due to work or exhaustion. I owe so many thanks to so many people. They really do make my life a blessed existence. This time of year I hope that I shout my thank you’ s loud enough to be heard and recognised, and that I put down the laptop down for long enough that, for once, I am the one taking care of others, rather than the other way around. I also want to say thank you for reading this blog. It’s come to mean so much to me, and I know that everyone has so many other options about what to do with their time. So thank you. Thank you for reading. Thank you for commenting. Thank you for liking. Thank you for coming on this journey with me.

Time to look to the future

All of which brings me to my final point. The things this season provides enables me to lift myself up and look to the future. It enables me to do so free of the baggage that has built up in the previous 12 months. It lets me do so with a focus born of reflection as to what I want and what needs to be done. It grounds me in connection and means that I remember the core values that drive me. It supports me in entering 2025 in an inspired mindset, which acts as a spring board for everything else. So I will enter my future with optimism, a clear sense of direction and the certainty that I will not be travelling alone as I move forward.

Who doesn’t love a Christmas game!

Now, if as Mr Girlymicro has stated, that was a little motivational speaker, lets bring it back to the real spirit of Christmas, festive games!!! I, being a gamer, love a festive game and so here is a fun one to kick off your day.

All opinions in this blog are my own

I know that not everyone loves this time of year or finds it easy. Please don’t feel alone and reach out for any support you need to make it through the season.