I’ve been putting some work into trying to purposefully regain some work life balance, to re-find who I am outside of my work roles. It sounds easy but actually I’ve been so work focussed for so long I’ve been finding it pretty stressful. Trying to be at peace with not working every weekend, and therefore not being responsive or on top of my inbox, makes me feel an ongoing sense of panic. Nothing will change if I don’t however, so I’m making conscious steps to be aware of the anxiety but to carry on regardless.

Some of this had been about finding time for something as simple as having Sunday Tea Time with Mr Girlymicro, where we have a pot of tea and just spend some time together, enjoying each others company.

The other thing we’ve been trying to do is get out for a walk to also spend time together without the distraction of technology, as I’m a monster for always being on my phone or a laptop. Fully stepping away, removing the temptation to have ‘just one quick look’, helps me try to be fully in the moment with the man I love more than anything.

It has also, completely coincidentally, allowed me to discover a children’s book series called Brambly Hedge. On our walking route the council have commissioned wooden carvings of the characters, that then greet you as you walk around the lake, as the author was local to our home. Learning who all these woodland creatures are has also brought me great joy, and has reminded me how much we can learn and be inspired by, just by stepping out of our homes. In honour of this thought process on the benefit of taking a wander, I’ve included pictures of them in the hope they will bring a little of that joy to you when reading this post.

Counting to 10

When I was first a trainee, life was pretty tough. I wasn’t exactly welcomed in my department. I’d just moved down to London, and the learning curve was steep. My fellow trainee was also having a pretty hard time. There was no space we could go if were just having a moment, and there are only so many times a day you can cry in the toilets before someone notices. Thus the lap count was born.

The lap count was a numerical shortcut to being able to describe how your day was going. The lap in question was a full lap of the outside of hospital, and the count referred to how many of these full laps were required to enable you to pull yourself back together in order to carry on. In general, a one lap day was pretty good, and a four lap day was terrible.

Hopefully none of you need a lap count in your working lives, but the principle stands. Sometimes, walking away from a situation, and the act of being in motion, can enable you to remove yourself from a reactive space. Ideally before you react and say something that might not be pitched as well as you’d like.

Re-centering

There is something about being in motion that can also help to shake off the cobwebs or allow you to recentre yourself and decide whether things actually matter. It could just be me, but I find that I calm much more quickly if I am moving. It’s like the act itself enables me to shed unnecessary emotions and leave them behind as I walk. I don’t know if its because, when I walk to centre myself and my thinking, it’s a deliberate choice that means I’m ready to move on? Or whether it is the walking that helps, but the results are the same either way.

I suspect that part of it is because I’m removing myself from any of the external drivers of the emotion and am deliberately moving into a space that allows me to feel and process, rather than trying to ‘keep it together’ or ‘be on top of things’. The aim of the moment is to ride the wave and move through it so I can get to a logical rather than emotional place. Somehow doing this on the move, uninterrupted, feels better than trying to do it where someone could find and try to pep you up half way through. On occasion I just need to guilt free sit in my feelings, and ironically this happens best, for me, when I’m on the move.

Space for creativity

I don’t know about you, but I think for a long time I forgot the benefits of being aimless. If I do something it’s always linked to an outcome, as I’m so time limited and balancing more spinning plates than is physically possible to keep in the air. I’d forgotten that I’m pretty creative, intellectually that is, I have no capacity for practical acts. I had forgotten that if I just walk and let my mind drift the interesting spaces it will take me to. I think I have been a lesser me by not making room for that to happen.

Creating space for creativity helps me think about problems differently and gives me new insights when it comes to work, but it also enables me to be open to inspirations in my personal life, be that for this blog, cooking, or plotting a new murder for my future murder mystery writing ambitions. It may sound odd but it is in these moments that I feel fully myself and I am a happier better person for it. I guess I’m saying I need to be more purposeful about creating space for me to be aimless.

Removal of distractions

I’m a great prevaricator. If there is a way to be distracted I will find it. Sometimes, that distraction can actually help my thought process, as I continue to work through a problem without it being at the centre of my thinking. Sometimes, that’s just not an approach that will work. If I have a tricky problem that I am avoiding as I’m not sure I’ll be able to find a solution , and yet I really need to, I will find any route I can to avoid facing that possible issue as it triggers all of my fear of failure, however invalid. This can happen for work issues, like an experiment that just keeps failing, or for personal stuff where I’m trying to work out what the outcome I want actually is. In these settings sitting and staring is not helpful, as I have a tendency to create my spaces full of distractions as they please me. The best thing is to go to a new space where those things just don’t exist.

Don’t get me wrong, I think I could be distracted in a white empty box, but going to a space that isn’t mine and moving so that I don’t have time to focus on my surroundings enough to be distracted, is a great way of tricking my brain into being able to tackle the thing that needs to be resolved. It’s not that there aren’t distractions, it’s just that they aren’t ones that I’ve custom made to work for me.

Time to eat, drink and exercise

I spend so much of my time sitting and working at a laptop. I do so at work, and then when I’m at home, I’m usually writing this blog or working on other projects, such as papers, all of which include much sitting and very minimal movement. One of the things I love about walking this particular walk is that It makes me feel so much healthier, whilst enjoying myself so much feeding the ducks and other birds, sometimes even with tea. It’s many of my favourite things all rolled into one, especially when you throw Mr Girlymicro into the mix.

It’s so easy to forget that we have to find time to also look after ourselves, to move and get some steps in, as well as to look after the work stuff, or the house stuff. It’s easy to only make space in our lives for the box ticking. I know that exercise can also be considered box ticking, but if I can do it in a way that also brings me pleasure, it stops being the thing that I put off and can become something that I feel motivated to make time for, and embed in my every day approach. The more I have land on my plate the harder I find to make the time, and so making it easier and joyful is key.

Feeling the sun on your face

I work, when I’m on-site, in a windowless unventilated converted toilet as my office. I love it. I’ve written before about how much pleasure my space brings me. It does mean, however, that if I don’t find a reason to leave my office I will spend months of the year in darkness or away from natural light, as I arrive in the dark, sit in my delightful safe space, and then leave in the dark. There is always a moment in ~March where I step outside and I feel the sun, and I can quite literally feel the internal change in my mood. I always find January and February such hard going, and all of a sudden I feel energised and as if I can really tackle those changes I want to make. The sun just makes me feel like a different person.

This probably seems nonsense, but I only ever have the ‘aha’ moment in March that it is the lack of sun that has been driving my low spirits. I never seem to be able to remember when I’m in it that January and February are always grim. Knowing the difference this makes to me, and despite not really being an outdoor girlie, I am trying to remember the lesson. I am trying to remember to go out for lunch. To go for short walks if I can find a gap between meetings. I’m pretty sure that this impact probably happens all year, it’s just I recognise it more during the change from darker to lighter months. So, I’m trying to keep the sun on my face for a little every day to help cling to that feeling of being able to change the world.

Creates space for focus

I used to run, badly, and one of the things about it was that I hated the start so much that all I could focus on was putting one foot in front of the other. All other thoughts left my mind. It was like a mental stop gap, and when I got over the start, one of the things I loved about running was the mental freedom that intercept from spiralling and other thoughts gave me.  I thought until recently that I’d lost that route to focus alongside losing my running confidence, but I think I’ve kind of got it back through walking.

Now, some of this will be down to the removal of distractions I’ve already talked about, but some of it is because that I find a place where the rhythm of walking can get me to the same mental headspace. Especially if I’m walking somewhere where I don’t have to worry too much about my surroundings and safety.  It let’s me find a head space where I can locate the mental thread I want to pull on, and just keep pulling. I can walk until I’ve gone as far down the rabbit hole as I need to go. The only person placing limits is me, and that is tremendously freeing.

Dedicated time

I am a great one for doing multiple things at once. For instance, this blog gets written during the commute, or whilst Mr Girlymicro and I catch on movies/games/TV. That means I’m pretty appalling at spending focused one on one time with the people I love. My mind is always running 100 miles per hour or having a random debate with itself.  One of the reasons we’re trying to get out for walks together is to allow that rare and precious one on one time with people we care about.  Time without the distraction of devices (that would be me), or feeling like we should be doing chores rather than chilling out ( way more Mr Girlymicro).

Walking together and just valuing being in each others company, even after over 20 years together, really brings me a joy I find hard to describe. It is also a joy that is easy to miss out on if you don’t priorise and make time for it. The world screams and loads priorities upon us, and some days we just have to deliberately choose ourselves and each other, over all that noise.

Room for discovery

I like to walk in interesting places, places that have signs about wild life, places like museums, or interesting streets with Blue Plaques. Places where I will see things that make me think, remember old knowledge, or learn something new.  I would never be writing a post centred around Brambly Hedge if I hadn’t stepped out for a walk. I like making space in my life for discovery and learning. I am a curious girl at my core. Walking in this way feeds into the core of who I am as a person. I’m sure many people walk outside because they like the outside. I am not an outdoor girly. I’m allergic to most of the outside world. Love of the outdoors is never going to be my motivation to get up and go for a walk, although I acknowledge that works for many people. For me, the motivation to step foot outside is that I can engage with a different kind of learning. The accidental kind, where I never know what I’ll discover. That speaks to me and who I am at my core.

Cortisol reduction

Speaking of walking in interesting places, I thought I would also share some of the evidence base, I am a scientist afterall.

Evidence for the effects of viewing visual artworks on stress outcomes: a scoping review

There are some really nice studies out there that demonstrate the impact on cortisol, the stress hornone, from going to places like museums and art galleries, and just looking at the exhibits. I’m sure the same is likely to be true for looking at the real world exhibits outside if you go and take a walk somewhere interesting or beautiful. In the rather stressful world we live in currently,  now of all times, it’s probably time to get our walk on, lower our stress and get back to the real us.

All opinions in this blog are my own